As I mentioned in my last post, I wanted to try the beautiful in-law erasure again with Soundings magazine and my parents’ names, this time with a sailing article. I don’t like the technique as much with two names instead of just one: too many words get picked up and there’s not the same sound compression (though I guess that would depend on the names). If I tried to include all the words, I’d be presenting almost half the article, so instead after my first pass through I did another erasure, basically chipping away at the block of text as if I were a sculptor. I could likely still cut this further, and I think it has more to do with an emerging female character than my parents, but I don’t think I want to spend more time on this draft at the moment and so am posting it. I did edit it a bit, so this diverges slightly from the original text.
I like the idea of doing one pass through the text with the names and then using that as a starting point, so I’ll probably keep playing with that block of text I pulled in other ways.
that one a kite
the other a cat
as the year
as the best sailors
the same iconic
no more yachts
literally the steering
engage in an intense
that combines balance strength
to their gear last year
in both the A Cat
catamaran classes
also the title the reigning
in the kite her lagging last
a title the same night
to sail on edge
the boat I can I can says I
remind in the moment
on the scene at age 15
the kite title she had learned
to sail a bay a years
she had to make that better
really to be in the right
at the right to be able to
all those early on she says
born to she made the most
since the kite selected she
the instant last spring
to train heated as the class aimed
the games last no longer
regatta the time that catching to me
she says home to her this time
something the Moth
they test kites in Italy
those technical things
together to be more she says
first she took to go
at the gorge a mental break
although not sailors
aboard a manatee then to Sarasota
sailing the catamarans the camps
sailing more liked to be
trying to go a little
then sailing to the beginning
a berth to go to Tokyo instead
catamaran to Long Beach
to race the cats
the edge she might gain
all she says that makes her
sometimes against the limits
more time to do better