Today I wanted to use the same technique as yesterday, but with a poet other than Guest to see whether it made a difference, or to what extent the limitation I was feeling was simply a result of English itself. I had Selected Poems and Prose of Paul Celan (translated by John Felstiner, 2001) close at hand, so each of the stanzas below takes words from the English translation of one of the first four poems in that book: “Der Tote,” “Finsternis,” “Notturno,” “[Winter].”
the man the stars
at thorns entered
so that he at heart
makes the bay no more
a heart treason eyes
my the east smokes
not one tears the beast
stark sky me
mother here my tears
to one are these
the ones
arms are
hearts are
the same they too
my stars are
torn at a mother
or too sank
Given that Celan’s poems are much shorter than Guest’s, I felt like I was able to get much more out of them, word for word. However, as I proceeded, using Celan as a source for this felt wrong (Wikipedia bio linked to help those who don’t know why), especially given that these poems in particular were written in the early 1940s. I’m putting this up anyway because it gives insight into the exercise, but I won’t be proceeding further. I would like to find a different German-language poet, since our last name is German (though that branch of the family technically more immediately came from Poland).
The next most accessible book of poetry on my desk was The Winged Horse Anthology, edited by Joseph Auslander and Frank Ernest Hill. I opened it at random to an excerpt from Shelley’s “Alastor,” which Auslander and Hill have labelled the Invocation. Here is the resulting beautiful in-law:
earth mother
the boon mine
morn noon
the bare she breathes
to me no or beast
then boast brethren no
mother my heart to these
by some makes some
my most tears those
ne’er shone me that
as some thy breath
that may the sea
hymns the heart man
Again, considering the length, as with the Guest this felt like pulling teeth and not as productive as the Celan. I’m also not sure I like using 19th-century poetic diction (and I didn’t even end up using any of the “thee’s” and “thy’s” I was picking up). Still, there were some apt lines and wonderful coincidences, and this may be worth revising. It’s also interesting to note that both Celan and Shelley have pointed out to me that I can use the letters in my father’s name to say “mother” but not “father.” I feel compelled to continue trying different poets in the coming days.